Letter to Mars.

Dear Mmmm,

I appreciate the long letter letting me in on your side. If I were in town right now, I'd be having this discussion with you in person, as it's obviously important, and as we know, email tends to remove what's truly essential between people. If I was wrong sending out that email, then so be it ... I am only trying to show you the group reasoning behind why I did it. A large apology is more important than two individuals’ petty issues.

Surely, you don’t think a challenge to solve a longstanding provocation, or grudge which affects a community, is a threat or reason to leave its fold. Your membership with our institution, on almost every level, is unassailable, and not a fragile affair one controversy could affect. I'm not saying you're wrong, or that you didn't feel unappreciated, or used, or that you weren't publicly embarrassed, or any of that.. All of us behave like a little kids in some tense circumstances, and likewise inhabit a lot of denial... I have little doubt there was a scene, perhaps on the level of Wwwwww’s birthday party, owing to his ego-driven need to give, which is pure and seamless only some of the time. I see you have extended the olive branch, and it's more or less up to Zzzzzz now, but look what it took for you to do that, so a slice of the community could witness the event. Other parties are now quite likely to throw the towel in, as you threaten to, rather than truly face what occurs in all messy group dynamics, are melding pots of what occurs in closer relationships too, and the end result of it, is, nobody will truly benefit for the sake of future learning and adventures beyond this. Let me attempt to speak my peace here, because I feel I haven't yet been heartfully heard. We do not evolve by accusation, but rather by understanding our mutual weaknesses, and openly, or publically embracing them.

Your rebuttal was reactionary, and thus, not in the best interest of either yourself, or the people you sent it to. Yyyyyy's forward was destructive, hard-core, and unapologetic, plus it suspiciously backed a certain sentiment you already had, so it was self-serving of you to forward it. I cop to living one's words, but I stood only to lose from that forward I sent, as I did NOT want to become involved, but was specifically asked to facilitate. That party energy had a motion to it that was going to come out one way or another, so I thought better now than later, and a neutral party makes the better messenger, where rival sides force cards to a table scrutinized for sleight of hand. I welcome your challenge I had other intentions, as I don't think I'm motive-free and am far from enlightened. I hope you’ll ferret a sentiment of know-better out of me, so let's talk in person about it (I'm interested); yet I don't see how I had/have anything but personal hassle to gain from this... thus my initial reluctance to even engage in it.

As I said in emails before, I am primarily interested in group dynamics where personalities clash, as every individual habits their own personal prejudices, which are seldom correct, yet they contribute substantially to a collective understanding. You think you were trashed, but as I'm sure you and others have noticed, Zzzzzz trashed himself in his apology. Our assembly is not one of idiots; we feel a pulse which lies beneath our pulse of superficial things, despite whatever "explanation" or 'official' line has been adopted. Those who are attempting to hide become flustered by exposure; if we have faith in our peers' intentions, their ability to lovingly embrace us is assured, and any realizations which elicit more sharing, deepen the bonds of everyone.

The kind of email you sent Xxxxx and Zzzzzz is the sort of sentiment the whole community should be aware of , so they can help facilitate healing on any occasions between you, them, and any recognizable versions of him/her/us that resemble the circumstances of such problems. This is truly vital stuff for us to grok, as it's the very thing which isn't occurring in our country... an honest disclosure of what's happening behind the headlines we've stopped believing in. Your wanting to make others see and feel as you, having been ignored instead of invited to perform ... what you did is on many levels, as childish as having a tantrum and breaking a record. That's important! People need to know you’re big enough to admit this, so they in a similar vein, can admit their faults in altercations with personalities which mirror certain aspects of themselves in challenging circumstances which proffer themselves for resolution

or warfare.

Let's face it, Zzzzzz can't fully apologize, or take criticism either helpful or negative, in any timely manner to save his life... it's truly unrealistic to expect him to do so, without being the paragon of what we'd actually expect of him ourselves ... and as you know, that's the kind of thinking which elicits global change. This concept is the backbone of why you send those political messages out. You're still sitting on a grudge of fifty bucks from how many years ago? And thus, he is too ... a problem which could have been cleaned up right away for the benefit of all of us ... But was it? In a timely manner, at the expense of our fragile egos or whatever it takes? Isn't this group worth it? Xxxxx is going to divide her allegiance to side with Zzzzzz, because that is the nature of relationships ... a loss of perspective meets love with its hat in hand. She girds herself to fight for underdogs, be they ER messes scraped from auto wrecks, or starving cats in roasting Louisiana cane fields ... it is her great special strength and occasionally her downfall; but I think you know this about her already. Zzzzzz’s inability to deal is magnified by her heartfelt desire to support and stand before him. That's why we have to be bigger than all of this, to re-foster love where suspicion, hedging, and judgment have secretly stolen in. And I'm talking about not one instance, but a living paradigm.

Truly, do you imagine

I like taking the heat for this, or perhaps I have nothing better to do than stir explosive chemicals for the sake of stirring? From up close, and from a distance, I see how damaging this whole affair has been (for years) and want it, and all future ones to emerge sufficiently to be solved with a useful precedent afterwards. This isn't about a few people covering up problems which ripple out to the masses, it's about sharing, and increasing the number of loving watchdogs finding the subtle shades of similar mis-communications in themselves, and throughout all of us. We need everybody looking, to carry the load of positive change into a better world.

And just for the record (in case you now think otherwise) I feel nothing but awe for everything you've done and given to the community ... this is not about my 'situation' with you, because I don't have one, except that I enjoy you, and consider you a co-conspirator in general creativity and fun. I would hope you would blow this whistle on me, challenging that which you energetically consider to impede a state of love. And I do NOT lavish this sort of attention on strangers. I admit I have higher expectations of your capacity to deal, and evolve socially than I do of others, but that's a product of my respect for you; and I don't think you would you want it another way. I apologize for going on and on about this, but I believe it is essential for any group to air its grievances in a useful and evolutionary way, to increase the level and quality of honesty we in turn gift to the outer world. In the esteemed contexts of music, art, love and dance to name a few, the group we inhabit has changed many people, and raised consciousness. Please accept this as a kind of distinguishment, as I have a billion things to do and an extreme shortage of time to further any of them; however, I think the topic of group-assisted loving to resolve and heal internal strife is important enough

to warrant our close attention.


Love, Rrrrr